Diva – As We Would Call Ourselves

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Meet me and my girl friends. We all know each other because we are the alumni of Canada – Indonesia Youth Exchange Program by Canada World Youth and Indonesian Ministry of Youth and Sport. But knowing each other wasn’t just enough reason to have this friendship shoot.

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We love pretty things, as well as we love to always look pretty. Judge no more because we don’t think we’re that shallow. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And from what we have experienced and valued, beauty is diversity. First thing first, look at where we all came from; all over Indonesia, 8 provinces, from Sumatera to Sulawesi. We also came from different batch of the program, from 2010 to 2013. We came from different backgrounds and cultures that we took advantages of as we like to learn from each other – from fashion to culinary, from career to love life. Some of us love our boney figure as much as some love our curves. We all love acting silly as much as we love taking beautiful selfies.

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We aren’t good friends because we think we’re perfectly pretty. We’re all here because we realize that we aren’t perfect but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be pretty. We just want to portray this group of friends who are passionate, supportive, open minded, strong-willing, intelligent, real, yet chic and fashionable at the same time. Love us or hate us, because we do love your attention.

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All photos were taken by Aditya Widihardhanu (@adityawd) and edited by Feby Dayono (@febylous__)

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Labels

If you’re old, you’re time is over.

If you’re young, you’re inexperience.

If you love traveling, you waste too much money.

If you don’t travel, you’re not that rich.

If you’re gay, you’re hypersexual.

If you’re straight, you’re homophobic.

If you’re pro Trump, you’re racist.

If you’re anti Trump, you’re just a follower.

If don’t like changes, you’re closed minded.

If you like changes, you’re inconsistent.

If you spend too many times on social media, you’re noisy.

If you don’t do social media, you’re irrelevant.

If you think you’re pretty, you’re cocky.

If you think you’re ugly, you’re pathetic.

If you date beautiful people, you’re shallow.

If you date ugly people, you’re stupid.

If you’re single, nobody likes you.

If you’re in relationship, you’re boring to your friends.

If you like this post, you’re judgmental.

If you hate this post, you’re double standard.

 

Human of 2017 will always put labels all around your face. But as always, ripping the labels off is just so easy that you don’t even need to overthink.

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Envious

I smiled gently. Alone and ready.

I remembered places that you told me; vivid imagination which I planned to be reality

I never wanted to admit that I was obsessed, But I truly am obsessed – head to toe, left to right, brain and heart, soul and body.

People said I wanted to be with you.

I said I wanted to be like you.

Clear, loud, and free. Burdenless and weightless, as thin as morning mist.

My darling,

I wish I can call you everytime I like.

But I untied the rope for a specific reason, and getting your text every morning ain’t what I planned.

Year by year, drama by drama.

We both struggled with different things in our each life.

But my struggle is worse.

I still cannot be like you.

credit: Feby Dayono

Boys Brunch: Anggoro Seto – From Indonesia’s Golden Boy To European Graduate

As this world that used to be bigger is now getting narrower, the hunger of exploring and experiencing new cultures is becoming more exciting than ever. Many international organizations offer ways for us to walk in their shoes, especially for us in Indonesia, a country where the world is somehow paying attention to.

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Up north in Europe, there’s a scholarship program called Erasmus Mundus – an opportunity for people around the World who aims to enhance quality in higher education through scholarships and academic co-operation between the European Union and the rest of the world. The program has been popularly prestigious among Indonesians aspiring international students due to its amazing study programs and university destinations that is spread all across Europe.

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Credit: Anggoro Seto

Anggoro Seto who calls himself a life learner felt like the program suited his objectives of life – fruitful international experience by learning real way of living from our Blue-continent counterparts. This long-time friend of mine just graduated last year and shared his excitement of studying in multiple European cities and living European ways during our brunch in his hometown Bekasi, for our Boys Brunch April/May/June 2017.

Feby (F): Long time no see, Anggoro! It’s been a while, eh. Congrats on your graduation. How’s everything?

Anggoro (A): Yeahh, too long! Thanks, Feby. Everything’s great. Of course, they need to be great. Lol. Europe was fun, being back home is also amazing. You told me you wanted to visit when you were in the Middle East but you didn’t. I could have brought you to places you would love.

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(F): Shit obviously happened. Lol. But that’s alright, there are still plenty of timed ahead. But it’s all about you now, and first thing’s first – Tell me about your study and Erasmus Mundus Scholarship

(A): So yeah, as you know the past couple years, I’ve been busy with my study that I took with Erasmus Mundus Master Course. As most of us also know Erasmus Mundus is a pretty well-known program from that aims to promote Eurpoean universities’ education for International students outside Europe. Continuing my bachelor study and my professional experience, I was accepted in this program called AFEPA – Agricultural, Food and Environmental Policy Analysis – Well, the program’s name speaks for itself, and it is something I’ve been doing for quite some times.

As all Erasmus Mundus programs, AFEPA also aimed to promote European universities, as well as strengthening relationships among involving countries. AFEPA also allowed me to study in 2 universities, each in Bonn (Germany) and Barcelona (Spain) respectively, along with 2 summer schools in Barcelona and Belgium. This whole experience would definetely be one the highlights of my life – ever. Many good things came along with it, from the study to the idea of living in a total different cultures up in Western Europe.

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(F): That sounds too much fun and the best part was that you got to do it without paying any cash. Why did you think the committee grant you the scholarship?

(A): Yeah! To be honest, this program was always something that I anticipated the most eversince I knew it existed. I could say that I tried really hard to receive what I received. I actually applied this program back in 2013 for the first time but I only made it to reserve list. I was obviously not a quitter so I came back in 2014 and finally made it. I felt like they could see how consistent and persistent myself was as an applicant, reflected in the whole process of application. I did lots of research and practice which I think are the key of succeeding any scholarship programs. We gotta show that we’re being serious and are able to handle the responsibility of being an awardee.

(F): Couldn’t agree more. But why were you so obsessed with Erasmus Mundus? How did you think studying in Europe was better than in any other continent?

(A): In this era, I believe that being a student doesn’t only mean that we can only get the learning process inside the class. The world offers too many things we can learn about if we’re aware enough. I don’t know though, but I somehow felt connected to Europe to fulfill my curiousity and to experience myself of what life is about in the continent. This was probably affected by the fact that I’ve experienced living in North America so I kinda wanted somewhere new for me to explore.

Just like Asia, Europe offers endless diversity but somehow they’re also united. One country is different to another and that excited me a lot. As a person who value cultures and diversity, I felt lucky enough to finally experience a whole new point of view in multiple European cities and I don’t regret it.

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(F): It’s all about the travelling too, isn’t it! So when studying, do you choose the school first or the city first?

(A): Honestly, city first. LOL. As I mentioned that my objective was to learn from every aspect instead just what I would get from school. And of course selecting countries and cities will be one of the really important keys. I’ve got Belgium, Sweden, Hungary, Germany, and Spain on my list and I finally got two of them. Now that I have to share these things with you, the more I actually miss everything that happened back there. HAHAHA.

(F): HAHAHA. Congrats to you, bro. But from those two, how different are lives and study environments between Germany and Spain?

(A): Oh man, they’re completely different. People in Bonn were much more discpline as the germans are known as. And starting my program in Bonn first was the right decision. Not that I didn’t enjoy Germany, but as Indonesian, I was more sociable and Spain was the place for it. People in Barcelona are more loose, open, and outgoing. I enjoyed both places so much as I needed those “social rules” Bonn shaped for me to start the year, and ended the experience with more relaxing environment that Barcelona gave.

(F): From every knowledge and experience that you’ve gathered through Erasmus Mundus Master Course program, how do you think they will be useful for your life?

(A): I feel like I am more developed – as I should. And it is probably obvious when I say  that the past two years experience I had was really eye opening. I kept collecting puzzles to be an open minded, mature, and independent person. And the program truly exceeded my expectation. I have the knowledge from school, get to know lots of people, and I traveled to many places during my break too. It was like I was prepared to received 100% and they gave me 1000%. I think you obviously know how them-experiences will be useful for my life.

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(F): You sound really on fire. But as we had lived in Canada 5 years ago for an exchange program, what do you think is the most significant difference between living abroad for an exchange and for a master program?

(A): Obviously really different. Back then, our program was set and designed with really specific instructions of how, where, and with whom we should live. We were given schedule, activities, and we understood that the program would somehow end at the exact designated time that made us have to go back to real life. But master study was something I needed to figure out by myself. It was a big chunk of my life that I would continously carry – not that exchane program wouldn’t – but school is more like a “real thing” if that’s even the right word. I designed myself and took full responsibility of that. This thing will affect my life in a really big portion, such as my future job – simply. I am proud that I have experience both. You should get your master soon, Feb!

(F): HAHAHA, thanks for encouraging! It does sound interesting. On the other notes, how do you think your experience will affect other people in your community, though?

(A): Just what I did to you, I always try to deliver the message. Everyone can and should experience the other part of the world the best way possible. As human being that was born and raised in the same country, I want every Indonesians who read your blog to understand that we have the same basic – we received same education system and similar social conditions. I know ‘everything’ is better most of the time in bigger cities but we do create our own opportunities. I encourage people to bring the best in them; we all should be thirsty of experiencing diversity and apply the good things in our community!

 

(F): Excellent enough. So now that you graduated, what is your next move?

(A): I just got married with the love of my life last month, and that was such a major move yet another milestone of my life. But also now that I have better knowledge especially in agriculture and environmental policy, I am really excited to apply that in real life. I would love to contribute and work in an environment where I can support, but at the same time still give me learning process. Learning is really that fun that I know I will never stop doing.

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Credit: Anggoro Seto

Anggi – as how I always called him was still pretty much the same person, but with a whole completely new spirit. He still had the same gesture, same goof, and same hilarious laughter but when I dug into his European experience, I could see how excited he was and the importance of that experience was clearly reflected by the way he told me the story.

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We had a nice mixture sundanese-western selection of brunch. Cireng, grilled meat ball, rice, lasagna, marshmallow brownies, coffee, and milkshake was served in the new restaurant called 3 Cooks in Bekasi. As we enjoyed our brunch, I remembered how I spend many meals with him back in 2011-2012, from a Subway outlet in downtown Charlottetown to a meat-ball and fruit soup stall in Cikajang traditional market. We maintained our friendship the last 5 years and I am proud of having a friend who could literally go miles to achieve what he’s always been dreaming of. Definitely looking forward to see more!

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Trivia

  • Who’s your favourite cartoon character?

Nobita

  • If you can, in what colour do you want to dye your hair?

Light brown

  • Where do you wish you can go for a honeymoon?

Maldives. Why the heck does it need to be so expensive!

  • If you’re asked to watch one movie for 3 times in a day, what would that be?

What’s that Bollywood movie called!? Ohh, 3 Idiots

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This or That

  • Bungee Jumping or Sky Diving?

Sky Diving!

  • Ballerina or Cheerleader?

Cheerleader

  • Ramen or Pad Thai?

Pad Thai

  • Edgy or Geeky

Edgy

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Credit: Anggoro Seto

About Anggoro

  • Anggoro Seto was born on 25 July 1989. He went to University of Padjadjaran (UNPAD) in 2007, one of the top University in West Java to earn himself a bachelor of Agriculture
  • Back in 2011 right after graduation, he was chosen to represent West Java in Indonesia-Canada Youth Exchange Program that spent 6 months of living in both Canadian city called Charlottetown and an Indonesian Village called Cikandang, in southern part of Garut, West Java
  • He was also active campaigning about positivity through pageantry. After winning Abang (Mister) Bekasi in 2012, he was dubbed as Jajaka (Mister) West Java in the same year.
  • Representing Indonesia wasn’t a new thing for Anggoro. Before Canada exchange program, he already represented UNPAD for Harvard Model United Nations back in 2011.

Boys Brunch: Rico Polim – Asian Sensation of Penn-State

Coming from a developing country like Indonesia to compete at the International level is always challenging yet interesting as not really many people know in which side of Asia this big archipelago is. Or when they know, they will still ask you interesting questions that indicates how primitive we are. Moreover, if you come from a developing city like Pontianak where not only people worldwide don’t really know its existence, but also ignored by many Indonesians.

But Rico Polim turned the table 180 degrees. This long-time friend of mine is from Pontianak and proved the old proverb of “It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going” to be true. He studied both Bachelor and Master study in the United States of America and earned himself the highest recognition an engineering student of Pennsylvania State University could get, as he was named as College of Engineering student marshals which is selected for their outstanding academic achievement and contributions to engineering student life, every year.

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As he and I had this little reunion after several years when we both were home for the holiday, I got the opportunity to interview him for the January 2017 edition of Boy’s Brunch so that he could spill every amazing thing he experienced the past few years.

(Feby): Hey Rico, long time no see! How’s everything going? Last time we met, you were still in High School, weren’t you?

(Rico): Hello Feb! Everything’s great. It’s really nice to being back home and catch up with you again. Thank you so much for reaching me. I also remember the last time I saw you that you were busy preparing your departure to Canada.

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(F):  Yeah, it was 2011. It’s been to long! So how did you start this entire amazing journey?

(R): Well yeah, as a Pontianak native I always lived here and spent my education in this cozy city. When I graduated high school, I was looking for a bit of a ‘fresh air’ and followed my passion. I moved out of the city to study at The Pennsylvania State University, and took dual Bachelor Study and Master Study in Industrial Engineering and Operations Research.

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(F):  Why did you choose to study abroad, especially in the USA?

(R): I can say that I am privileged enough to be able to have parents who can support my dream to study in the place that I desire. I feel that furthering my education abroad doesn’t necessarily mean that I do not trust our education here. We have equal level of education, and I would think that there are aspects of education in Indonesia that would excel compare to the US. But in my opinion, there are also some aspects in the American system of education that happens to be more interesting for me. And my parents thankfully support the idea of studying abroad. USA is a personal dream of mine, and I worked really hard to be accepted in where I studied.

(F):  Tell us a little bit about your study. How interesting that was to study Industrial Engineering in the US?

(R): I took dual degree in Industrial Engineering which is basically the study of optimizing and reading the system, where efficient processes are developed for the particular process. It was a study that I am really passionate about as in the nowadays society, we become more connected to each other. Nowadays, a technology can be brainstormed in the US, produced in China, and be exhibited in Mexico, and my study allowed me to be the part of the process. I enjoyed the study of optimizing and reading data for tons of interesting purposes. I was in this amazing program which they combine Bachelor and Master Study and I was focusing the Industrial Engineering to Operation Research. I basically learned the mathematical property of life, for my additional ability to understand life. HAHAHA.

I worked really hard and took that study seriously. I received more than 5 awards and scholarship including the most prestigious award to be named as the student marshal for the Penn State College of Engineering last fall commencement ceremony on Dec, 2016.

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Credit: Penn State

(F):  That sounds great. But how did you survive being an Asian at school, Especially from Indonesia and Pontianak as developing places?

(R): I knew the consequences and I was prepared to face the social life there in the US. I realized that I was Indonesian with Chinese descendant which made me do not only limit my involvement in the society to just with people in own ethnicity. I always tried to get out of my comfort zone and saw people from a lot of culture and background. I was comfortable with the diversity that I experienced as much as I was comfortable with adapting to them. I would say hard work and timing was really important to survive in a really diverse lifestyle. I needed to prove my capability of being a responsible person that I was independent and lived miles apart of my family. But being responsible didn’t necessarily mean to be strict. I liked to experience new things; it’s just part of the process of being nurtured by life.

And as a minority, I was doing pretty well. I was involved in this Schreyer Society – an honourable society in PennState where only crème de la crème students get to be part of. It was awesome, members of this society gets multiple privileges that we enjoy so much. HAHAHA. I also acted as a co-captain of this club named Penn State Formula Society of Automotive Engineers (Formula SAE) where I got to make an actual Formula 1 car. It is really challenging yet obviously so much fun.  Last time we showcased our F1 car in the 2015 Formula SAE Michigan series competition where we ranked 33rd out of 120 International teams, which was the team’s highest since 2008.

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Credit: Facebook

(F): I am loving all of these stories. Were there any unpleasant incidents that happened during your study, though?

(R): There were obviously quite a few of them, but nothing big. During classes and assignments, group works could be really challenging. But everyone has their own battle, don’t we? For locals, it probably sucked that they needed to re-take some courses, but it was pretty demanding for me that I needed to re-take a visa in certain period. But the opportunity meant more to me than to them, so I guess sticks and stones didn’t break my bones. I focused on enjoying every moment and I earned my due.

(F):  I agree with the spirit. How do you think those experience will make you become a better Indonesian?

(R): Being lesser part of Indonesian community in the US, gave me the chance to being exposed more in the community. Man, our country offers lots of magnificent thing to the world. They can be amazed by even basic information of Indonesia and I enjoyed being ‘ambassador’ of this country at my school. Again, in the diverse situation, it’s always opportunity that we need to explore. I learned too many things this life could offer, such an eye opener. I got to know lots of people from not only US but also other International students and professors, and dealt with them. I became more mature of a person and I think every Indonesian youth should experience that in the best way possible.

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(F):  What do you think has shaped you as a person you are now? What made you this positive?

(R): My parents and family, shootout to them! They teach me more than I could ever think of to be the person that I am now. I am also a life learner and I feel like I learned many things from people that interacted with me as well. Like from many Indonesians at Penn-State, from the Indonesian Student Association in the early days who guided me how to survive and everything. And after all, I am obviously still learning and my graduation was just a beginning. I’m hungry for more –hopefully– great things to conquer now!

(F):  What will your next move be then? What big things are coming?

(R): I want to get a Job and continue my study to get Ph.D in the US because the excitement from graduation is obviously still there. I am coming back to US very soon, but I always want to be connected to Indonesia. I garner all these knowledge to contribute back to my community back home and help the society improve the current process. As a big Nation, our people need to embrace the digital era and seize the moment, and I believe we can. I want to tell the world that anything is possible as long as you work hard and commit yourself to what you love. Being honest and sincere to ourselves is the most important; those things are activities that I want to be associated with.

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Credit: Facebook

For a boy who will turn 22 years old this year, Rico sounded really mature yet still managed to show it in a really fun way. He ordered Bakmi Jawa (Javanese Noodle) as he seemed like he wanted to redeem his longing of Indonesian food. We had this brunch at the new hip-eatery in Pontianak called Botani, where his pure white shirt complimented the earthy ambiance of the café perfectly.

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Rico’s Brunch: Javanese Noodle

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Feby’s Brunch: Pan-seared Dory

I remember the first time I met him circa 2010 at a debating tournament where he was a debater and I was a chief adjudicator. His sharp and strong argument became the highlight that it brought him a ticket to a national level debating tournament. His evolution to be the person he is today does not surprise me and probably everyone who knows him at all. Rico is an Asian Sensation of Penn-State and as he said, this was just a beginning. Watch out, World. This boy is from Pontianak, the city that you do not really care about.

 

Trivia

  • What will you rename yourself?

Rico sounds good.

  • Who is your first Celebrity crush?

Emma Watson

  • Where do you want to get married?

Pontianak

  • What is your current jam?

Take Five by Dave Bruebeck

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This or That

  • Katy Perry or Lady GaGa?

Ahhhh I really don’t want to choose! – Katy Perry

  • Swimming or Bowling?

Swimming

  • Alpen or Machu Picchu?

Machu Picchu

  • Cappuccino or Espresso?

Espresso

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Credit: Penn State

About Rico

  • Rico Polim was born and raised in Pontianak, West Kalimantan on 11 Maret 1995
  • He was a club junkie in High School. He joined both Basketball and English Debating Club and his serious commitment in debating ranked him #16 out of 99 debaters who participated in National School Debating Chhampionship 2011
  • Grew up to be a physically active person, he lost 10kg due to his basketball routine throughout the age of 12 to 16 years old
  • He’s been in a long distance relationship since 2012 as he studied in The US while his girlfriend chose to study in Australia
  • In Penn-State, Polim was a recipient of the 2016 John W. Oswald Award, the President Sparks Award and the President Freshman Award. He also earned numerous scholarships, including the Harold and Inge Marcus Scholarship in industrial engineering, the Society of Manufacturing Engineers Education Foundation’s E. Wayne Kay Graduate Scholarship, the International Society of Automation Scholarship, the Material Handling Education Foundation Scholarship, and the Society of Automotive Engineers Long-term Member Scholarship. – a solid long list of award not a regular student could just receive

CWY Series 3 – Cross Cultural Understanding: Begins!

Previous Series: CWY Series 2 – Montreal Drama

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I hung out around fancy airports lately. It was really exhausting, but the excitement beat every negative feeling. And I really did not appreciate the complicated-ness of this travel. It looked organized but somehow I did not feel comfortable. And if you ask me why, I would not say anymore statement. I also could not decide which was more annoying: the jet lag or the cold – I was born and raised in equator city, what do you expect?

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I walked slowly behind my friends on purpose because I wanted to see around as half of my mind was still inside the plane. This airport right here, was not as fancy as the previous two these past two days. My Canada Air flight from Montreal to Halifax had only two stewardesses. One stewardess dressed like a real one; wearing that dress you saw from TV and all smiley.  While the other one, who was really unfriendly, wore glasses and dressed like she was about to do morning run with the body type that you would never find in any Indonesian flights. I did not know whether this country was too tolerance or my country was just appreciating beauty more for the sake of passenger’s comfort. And what I meant by beauty was of course a friendly personality. I wasn’t talking about beauty through body type at all, because just two seconds ago, I walked pass a body-sized mirror and saw beauty in a freezing 98kg flesh, blood, and fat (n) Homo sapiens.

The exit door was already behind me, bunch of kids were smiling while holding “Welcome to Canada” signages. People shook each other’s hands and introduced themselves. I did not usually approach people first which gave me no reason why I should start that time. I saw a blond girl with glasses whom I also saw on the plane. She smiled and “Hi” me.

“Were you also on the plane with us?” I replied. Frederique was indeed on the plane but was just too shy to introduce herself as part of our group. I met and introduced myself to several people after.

Someone yelled “Timbits, anyone?” and walked around while holding a box of Tim Horton’s timbit, something that looked like a sugary donut hole. I didn’t feel like I wanted a bite of timbit nor embarrassed myself when another person yelled about the last thing I wanted to hear at that very moment – an important moment when a perfect impression was what matter the most.

“So guys, we have this very special dance that we always do to keep our spirits high!” That was Amelia who initiated an interesting dance called G-O-O-D-J-O-B for public to either enjoy or laugh at. I enjoyed crazy things in some occasions but randomly performed that particular dance in front of people we were about to live with for the next 6 months was a bit immature, I could say. Who didn’t love Amelia!

“Hi, I am Louis, nice to meet you” someone talked to me right when a big bus driver told us to pay attention as he had an announcement. Most Canadians looked really fancy with long sleeved shirt

“Hello, I am Feby, nice to meet you too!” I could not decide in which accent I should speak. I was really good with accent but I would not want people think I was weird to speak in British accent in North America.

The driver had finished explaining as we were lining to get inside the bus. I sat next to Felix, a tall boy from Quebec City who was really quite. He told me the committee of CWY told them to dress up a bit because the Indonesian might wear that famous attire of theirs, which was why Felix wore a formal shirt with a tie. That Canadian road was really neat; there was no hole on the street and the 1-2 hours long ride was decorated by trees on every side of the road. Felix said that it was technically still summer, so all leaves were still on their branches.

I still could remember clearly how things smelled. I was in a room with 3 floral-pattern-sheeted beds, with 2 chocolate balls below our each name that was written on an orange paper. Someone mistakenly thought that Laksmi was a boy because I saw her name on the bed that was nearest to the door. While on the other side of the room, Felix was unpacking his stuffs from a very large luggage. They put us in the same convenient room on the upper floor of the house. The bathroom was also big, and I could see pretty much everything around the area of the camp.

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This whole area of Tatamagouche Learning Centre was so huge. They had the main building where every activity basically happened: dining hall, recreation room, library, chapel, and offices, that was surrounded by smaller houses for bedrooms with also living rooms inside them. Beside buildings, the area had a massive field of beautiful grass that you could roll your body onto for days, a really large lake where you could go canoeing, and small forest where we usually had our bonfire. That whole scenery was the view that I usually just saw on movies, but it was real at that time.

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The boys of Charlottetown and Truro were placed in this old big house called the Campbell House. Louis, Thomas, and Anggoro were all in a smaller room right beside ours. We walked down the stairs together and headed to the main building for our very first meeting. The six Project Supervisors were all there to greet us as we needed to stand in a giant circle so that everyone could see everyone.

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“We need you to mention 2 things about the place where you’re from” Said Suzanna, Truro-Sei Gohong project supervisor explained the activity as the introduction of our diversity of origins and backgrounds. Gillian and Dini high-fived each other when they just realized that they both wore Harvard University sweater as the first person started mentioning things about their city. Renata said “12 million populations” to describe Jakarta, Aryo said “City of hundred rivers” about Banjarmasin, and I said “Equator” to inform about Pontianak.

The introduction game was fun but I was having a jet lag. I fell asleep several time when the Director of the learning centre explained about the house rules. We continued to have supper which took place at the big dining hall at 5 PM. Yes, freaking 5 PM. The room had several circle tables for people to sit around. I didn’t know where to sit as friends whom I liked to gossip with like Renata, Mayfree, Reyska, and Meilia were busy with their group. I guess every time from that moment, was supposed to be the time that we had to know our own group better. We didn’t know our counterparts yet and I needed to know which person should I share bedroom with for the next 6 months.

“Do you Canadians always have supper this early?” I asked, with an inside battle of which accent should I use. I was in this table with mix of Canadians and Indonesians from my group, including Kim our Canadian project supervisor.

“Well, closer to winter, the daytime is also getting shorter. Some people consider 5 PM as also early time for supper. 6 or 7 PM are usually the more normal time.” Said a Canadian I could not remember.

That made more sense, it was not even really dark outside. There were these huge windows sized as big as the dining hall’s wall where you could see everything outside, the hilly grass field and the lake. They also had this wooden benches right outside the doors where we usually used for breakfast as the weather were really nice.

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We had this fried rice with sunny side egg for supper. I didn’t really like the taste, they put beans with the rice and that made the taste a bit interesting. I finished eating and had several conversations with some people before I decided that I was tired enough and needed some sleep. The next 3 days would be full of trainings during the daytime before we left for our each community.

The first meeting that morning was with Francois Tardiff, the CWY Program Director of Maritime Area. The Indonesian were showing that famous Saman Dance as an opening where Sudiani had a bit of an incident of losing one buttons of her pants, things that made me and Amelia laughed for days when we heard the story. Sorry, Sud but that was funny!

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Francois was explaining about the general rules of the program, things that we basically were already informed during our 2 weeks of Pre-Departure Training. But he explained it in more casual-not intimidating way. After the session, he divided us into several group to make a skit about each points of the CWY rules during the program – in which I later was infamously well-known as the boy who funnily pronounced the word “Answer”. The sessions were really needed for us so that we understood certain important things to stay away from trouble, and not get kicked out of the program especially in the first few weeks.

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Later in the afternoon, we were finally divided into meetings with our group only. The Charlottetown-Cikandang group was in the ‘common room’ of the building where 20 of us, including the supervisors would have more focused training sessions of program’s objectives and characteristics with one facilitator. Kristin, our group’s facilitator was a friendly, smart looking middle-age woman that apparently knew lots of thing about Indonesia. She’s been to Indonesia, became a facilitator of CWY-Indonesian program for several times before, and her Batik perfectly suited her easy-going personality.

She wanted an Indonesian interpreter from the group, thing I thought really unnecessary as all the Indonesians spoke English, but she insisted as she wanted to make sure that everyone could clearly understand of what was actually happening in the conversation. And of course, again, everyone asked me to be that interpreter.

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“Tell us something that we all didn’t know about you before” Kristin asked everyone

“I am used to speak in British accent, as many of my Indonesian fellows might have known. But I am afraid that everyone will think that I am weird, as a non-native speaker to speak in British accent in North America.” I answered.

Many people looked interested. “Can you please show us!” Someone asked.

“I can’t, that feels weird if someone asks me so.” I replied.

“Man, you just said ‘I can’t’ in a non-North American accent.” Someone told

Everything felt mixed-up. It was hard to omit my obsession of Spice Girls, Harry Potter, and Keira Knightley for an instant first week of adjustment eventough I regularly watched Gossip Girl and Mean Girls was still one of my most favourite movies.

We were back to more discussions and fun-task. Kristin explained that we were in this honeymoon phase where everything still felt exciting. But soon later in the program, especially when we would be in the community, that phase would just change in several cases when we interacted more with a lot of components in the program: Counterparts, host families, people from the group, work placement, and the community itself.

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“We all come from different places with different cultures and common practice, and adjusting ourselves into certain group of people in a short time can be really challenging, and of course it’s really normal to have those challenges.” Kristin explained.

“The way we interact, the way we think, even the way we eat can be different. And this program is designed to achieve cross cultural understanding. We all come here to learn and share and combine those differences into one unified message: to be the youth leaders of the world.” She added.

“Let’s have a little activity to show how 1 thing can be reflected differently in all of you.” She asked us to stand up in one area and asked a case: “One evening, you are in the passenger seat while your friend is driving. All of a sudden, your friend hit someone on the road but your friend just continued driving without helping the victim. As a friend, will you report him/her to the police of hitting someone on the road, or you’ll just protect your friend? Those who’ll go to the police please make a group on my right, and those who won’t, make a group on my left.”

I suddenly remembered my friends back in Pontianak. I have this clique consisted of 8 persons and were really closed during our 4 years in University together. We just graduated together literally a month before my departure to Canada. We indeed had been in a similar situation when we hit our lecturer’s car in the campus parking area, but this case that included police was a whole new level of friendship-test. I loved them and a 21-year-old me chose to move to Kristin’s left area.

The group was divided equally, each group also consisted of fair mix of Canadian and Indonesian – which indicated this case obviously had nothing to do with nationality and culture.

“Now I am going to add a new fact to the case. What if later on you find out that the victim had a terrible injury that was caused by the accident, and unfortunately the victim can’t do any activities for a long time meanwhile he/she is the only working person in the family?” Kristin added.

That scared me. I felt confused and I thought that the accident would have been my fault as well. The only way my friend would drive irresponsibly was just because I would have let them to do so. Several people moved to the right but no one from the right group moved to the left. I was in doubt until I decided to stay in my place. There were very few people stayed in that group, including the blonde short-haired Gillian with the nose ring.

I told her that time: “You and I should be best friend!”

Being Single

 

The accuracy of her words is mindblowing!

People need to understand that there are just some people who choose their life path differently other than what society demands. When someone is single, everyone will easily judge and say inappropriate things like “Maybe she needs to loose some weight”, “He needs to get a better job to afford a relationship”, “She’s too brilliant, boys will be intimidated”, “He’s gay”, “She was divorced, no one wants a widow with kids”, “He’s not that good looking but too picky!” etc.

Why is it when someone is single, that means that he/she isn’t ‘chosen’? Why is it necessary to fabricate a bad sentiment to victimize some people with different values and probably unpleasant past experiences? Not all single people are desperate because there’s no offer on the table. Most of the times, they are the tables.

“Most single people understand the importance of protecting their good energy” – Michelle Obama